000: A Website (Carmine
Containment Class
Carmine
The object is missing
read document
)
Optimal Containment Protocols
OCP-000 is to be posted on the OCP site in order to confirm the functional operation of the OCP database. No other protocols are needed at this time.
Description
OCP-000 is a paper document regarding the task force K-nis (Bloodhounds)
Mobile Task Force
K-Nis (Bloodhounds)
The de facto "hunters" of the Federation.
read document
. Its origin is unknown, as it was never written by any past nor present researcher at the Federation.
What is known is that it mentions a hybrid between OCP-051
Anomalous Object
OCP-051
Old Blind Dogs
read document
and a hitherto unknown OCP described as a bat.
The contents of OCP-000 have been found to have come true. The previously unknown OCP described has been revealed to be the recently obtained OCP-350-1
Anomalous Object
OCP-350-1
Amity
read document
.
The original, anomalous copy of the document has gone missing. A digital backup copy of the document’s content still exists. See the updated version of OCP-051
Anomalous Object
OCP-051
Old Blind Dogs
read document
.
Incident Reports
Incident Report 000 1
INCIDENT REPORT 000 1
⟤
| Date: | Incident Type: Personnel Disappearance |
| Time: ####hrs | Reported By: xxxxxxxxxx |
| Location: Site-20 | Object: OCP-000 |
| DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT | |
|---|---|
| We have absolutely no idea what happened. | |
| WITNESS EXPLANATION | |
…So I’m sitting there, mustard on my titties, when this document jumps me and starts emptying my pockets of all my candy wrappers! I have no bloody clue why. Frankly, I don’t even remember putting any candy wrappers in my pockets, but it was managing to pull them out anyway. I didn’t wany those wrappers or anything, they’re just trash, but I definitely didn’t want it GETTING them so I started grabbing for em myself! That’s when | |
| FOLLOW UP | |
| A janitor put a wet floor sign by the corner of the room. | |
Incident Report 000 2
INCIDENT REPORT 000 2
⟤
| Date: | Incident Type: Containment Breach |
| Time: ####hrs | Reported By: ********** |
| Location: Site-20 | Object: OCP-000 |
| DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT | |
|---|---|
| Object disappeared from containment. | |
| WITNESS EXPLANATION | |
| N/A. No witness present. | |
| FOLLOW UP | |
| A digital backup copy of the object was kept. No data is lost, but the anomaly’s location is unknown. Containment class updated to Carmine. | |
Interview Logs
Interview Log 000 1
INTERVIEW LOG 000 1
⟤
|
Interviewer: Jr RSR ******* Subject: OCP-000 Topic: Reason for hostility Jr RSR: Why are you hostile? [various growls and vocalizations of grumpiness] Jr RSR: Please calm down. There is no need for hostility. OCP-000: I’m going to eat your lunch money and then fold your laundry with my baby hands [interviewer is silent] Jr RSR: I think we’re done here. |
| INTERVIEWER NOTES |
|---|
|
I’m pretending to write something down blah blah blah blah Are they still watching? This thing freaks me out. I don’t wanna have to work with it anymore. I’m gonna say in my log that it ate my notes. Maybe then I won’t have to go near this thing anymore…
|
Dr. 
Jr RSR Test Logs
Test Log 000 1
TEST LOG 000 1
⟤
| Date: | Researcher: Jr RSR ******* | |
| Time: ####hrs | Object: OCP-000 | |
| Location: *********** | Approved By: n/a | |
| REQUEST | ||
|---|---|---|
| Goal | Study the object. | |
| Procedure | Get a piece of paper and write down what the object does. | |
| REPORT | ||
| Results | Failed. | |
| Comments | It ate my paper :c | |
Test Log 000 2
TEST LOG 000 2
⟤
| Date: | Researcher: Jr RSR ******* | |
| Time: ####hrs | Object: OCP-000 | |
| Location: *********** | Approved By: n/a | |
| REQUEST | ||
|---|---|---|
| Goal | Read the document. | |
| Procedure | Align eyeballs with document surface and observe as my brain absorbs its contents. | |
| REPORT | ||
| Results | Failed. | |
| Comments | It seems shy and wouldn’t let me read what it says. | |
The witness started screming and pointing at an empty corner of the room. A security officer was asked to examine the space. Within moments, the guard vanished into a cloud of black smoke. His next of kin were told the cause of death was smoke inhalation followed by spontaneous physical dissolvement.
For the record, can we please not let the interns write the cover stories anymore?