INCIDENT REPORT 000 1
| Date: | Incident Type: Personnel Disappearance |
| Time: ####hrs | Reported By: xxxxxxxxxx |
| Location: Site-20 | Object: OCP-000 |
| DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT | |
|---|---|
| We have absolutely no idea what happened. | |
| WITNESS EXPLANATION | |
…So I’m sitting there, mustard on my titties, when this document jumps me and starts emptying my pockets of all my candy wrappers! I have no bloody clue why. Frankly, I don’t even remember putting any candy wrappers in my pockets, but it was managing to pull them out anyway. I didn’t wany those wrappers or anything, they’re just trash, but I definitely didn’t want it GETTING them so I started grabbing for em myself! That’s when | |
| FOLLOW UP | |
| A janitor put a wet floor sign by the corner of the room. | |
The witness started screming and pointing at an empty corner of the room. A security officer was asked to examine the space. Within moments, the guard vanished into a cloud of black smoke. His next of kin were told the cause of death was smoke inhalation followed by spontaneous physical dissolvement.
For the record, can we please not let the interns write the cover stories anymore?